I Can Honestly Say. . .

I can honestly say I looked like a million

      when I wore the carnelian necklace

With the Fred Leighton black cotton dress

      I bought in Puerta Vallarta

When I had a straight up and down french fry figure.

I can honestly say I wish the hotel maid

      had not taken the necklace as her own.

She did not know or care I spent good money

      to buy the piece at Brentano’s on 5th Avenue.

Does she look svelte wearing a black dress and my necklace?

I can honestly say the carnelians will bolster

      the maid’s desire for prosperity

Increase her creativtiy, guard against poverty, and

      if she continues to steal, the stones

Will not protect her unexpected afterlife.